I went to the Afro Punk festival tonight. There was a free concert, which featured Janelle Monae. I think she’s amazing, very eccentric style.
Excerpts of one of the songs I like:
I’m an alien from outer space (outer space)
I’m a cybergirl without a face a heart or a mind
(a product of the man, I’m a product of the man)
Ci ci ci
I’m a saviour without a race (without a face)
On the run cause they? hit our ways and chase my kind
They’ve come to destroy me
Check out the video on youtube. I truly love her energy and her style.
Oh by the way, photos of our meals yesterday
Honey BBQ ribs, Mashed Potatoes, Sweet Red Beans, Veggies, Cranberry Sauce (yes from the can), Yellow Rice.
Yummy(how the Ribs looked after I baked them)
After I ate all of that, I pretty much felt like sleeping on my kingsize bed :-).
Anyway, back to work. I have lots of work to finish before this holiday weekend is over :-). I took a break and went to a BBQ and party down the street with a DJ and really great music. The good thing about living in this area is that I am closer to West Indian people (because I am West Indian). The food around here is always good and the music is from my culture.
What a great night! Hope everyone’s 4th was great. Mine was :-).
I cooked yesterday: Honey BBQ ribs, Sweet Red Beans, Yellow Rice, Mashed Potatoes, Veggies, Cranberry Sauce :-). We got the itis and went over to another house where we had hotdogs. I drank so much that I had to get a red bull because I was going to get cranky, I’ve hardly been sleeping because I am working late, and partying hard - why not? (Party like a Rockstar ).
Today my buddy and I went to see Hancock. I’m not sure what to think of it but some parts were pretty predictable. My date was very sweet. He kept reminding me about my many “fans” but I do like him as a person. Who knows where this will lead but I can’t afford to be distracted. I did promise to trust him since he has been in my life for a long time. I do not want to rush it at all however, it’s wonderful that my roommate likes him and wants me to take a chance. I still feel it’s all too soon, my fragile heart is damaged and needs to be fixed hehe.
Anyway, tonight, my roommate and I are going to a concert… Should be exciting!
C’est moi. I am in our home office. Today, I put my dresser together so finally my clothes are not all over the floor! My room is actually pretty big, I assumed my bed would take it all but it definitely could fit another King Size bed in there. I forgot to take photos of my battle scars (scratches that I received while moving). I did so much heavy lifting and I haven’t been to the gym in weeks.
I bought a new tower today. It’s pretty sweet - no, not a mac! This was an HP Pavillion, it’s super hooked up and was only $500. I didn’t have 3 grand just lying around for a mac so I decided to keep it low budget since I purchased those Ikea things, paid my bills (cell, con ed, etc) and of course I want to keep investing ;-).
I also did my hair because I do not want to look like a mess tomorrow. I had a pretty crazy week but I had fun so finally I want to be a girlie girl again. Tomorrow(today) I am cooking for a group of people and I will be hanging with someone very dear to me. I wrote of him before. Thinking of him has made me distracted these past days - I needed that. It’s just the feeling of dependability, and thankfully he’s more mature. I’m still so not ready for a relationship. Is it ok to simply be “courted?”
Well basically my dad gave me this advice today, “use your best judgement, follow your heart.” I will do with it as I please. I will follow my heart. I did tell him what occurred in all this “Alex-obsession-of-craigslist-personals-to-find-older-women-or-freaky-women-sh*t.” I did call Alex a douchebag. What he didn’t know was that I knew since April while he was trying to be “discreet” about meeting people because he assumed his relationship was boring - that was well before my brother died - I had deliberately started focusing on just me. He probably had those thoughts on his mind while I was away for the funeral and when I caught him again in another lie, he fessed up. I found out he also told people that I kept him from his women friends, I think he just needs to just suck it up and own his mistakes instead of blaming me. I’m a career woman, I do not have time to keep tabs on my bf’s lifestyle therefore that’s why he got away with doing things like he did. But enough bitterness on the audacity of this guy’s behavior. Well, I am following my heart it led me right to the arms of my good friends. I did let my dad know that I am doing great despite this. The two people in the relationship wasn’t on the same page. That’s normal these days.
So, with my new ventures… I will be asking questions and following my heart.
By the way, I have photos of my new baby sis but I won’t post her up because she’s too cute for you to see :-). By the way her name is Curlyn, not Kerlyn. Thank God. Still sounds similar but it’s just that I felt like I lost a part of myself when my dad spelt the name wrong in an email.
I did promise to post photos from last night. Excluding me because my hair’s a mess haha. I really love the visuals that appeared with the music, so I took lots of photos :-), video at the bottom…
I will post more of the photos tomorrow when I resize them. It’s late.
I am actually connecting with some good friends of mine and tonight I went to a dub war! It was my first, out of hopefully many more. I am definitely happier daily I forgot how much fun I used to have when I was not in this waste of 2 years :), I prayed and thank God about this because by far this was the worst I have ever experienced. I met a few men lately who asked me why I don’t have a boyfriend and I simply say, “didn’t work out.” I think that is easier than getting into details. I am all about starting anew, taking my time, focusing on my career - being reliable.
Also, I have a best friend who has been there for me through thick and thin, I do not know what I would do without him. He was there for me when my brother died, through the break up and when I was stressing about work. I love my friends ^.^. I think having them around has made it so much easier for me to move on. I had to write this because someone asked me if I missed my ex today. I said not at all. It’s just that it did take alot of energy to be with him and when it ended it was like weight lifted. I did enjoy all the financial advice and things he did teach me over the past 2 years. However, these are things I also learn through friends or read myself, I think being that “someone special” is what makes you a genuine partner. The next person I date has to be make me as a priority as much as I do (not obsessive, just treat me like I treat them). But yah, I am all over it I just never want to ever have to speak to him ever as long as I live - I know harsh isn’t it? I don’t hate him as a person however, so that’s good, that took alot of energy. Almost as much as his apology wasn’t genuine the last day I moved. Besides, I am young! and Freeeeeeeeeeeeee
By the way, it couldn’t be any easier to get to work from where I live now! I only take 1/2 hour now (I will time this again). YES! It went by quickly when I went on the train… anyways ‘night
I should have tons to write about from now on. Things are actually going so much smoother than I ever imagined! I stayed up way too late playing board games with drinks but it was after a long day. I really thought I woud have been having a more difficult time getting over things but so far everything has been uphill. I decided to pick up a new tower for me to work with. I am tempted to purchase a mac but this wont happen any time soon, I am budgeting and finally investing :-D.
Yesterday I went to the Home Depot to pick up a fan for our living room. I actually have more pressing errands to run but since my roommate and I were expecting company, I decided to get one while I went to purchase “washers” for my screws for my king size bed :-D. While at Home Depo, this gorgeous, tall and handsome guy came over and asked me if I needed help. Of course I said no, and I found what I was looking for. He asked me what it was and I told him “washers” for my screws. He asked for what (I figured he probably thought I didn’t know what I was doing). I told him my Ikea bed, he laughed (nice teeth!) and said oh and agreed they aren’t always sturdy. I responded, “yah especially when you move and have to put them together another time around.” He laughed and - mmm I realized that somewhere in the conversation I should have asked his name and his cell phone number :-).
Anyway, while I was standing in line, a guy walked out the door and his change fell, it was paper bills - I have no idea how much it was. I tried waving the guy at the door to point out that his change fell but he didn’t realize. A woman standing in front of me, with her husband, sauntered over (I thought she was going to get the guy) and picked it up, folded it and placed it in her pocket. I really thought she was going to give it back makes me sad about honesty… (I’ll make sure my money doesn’t fall)
I am still unpacking but I’ve moved into my new home. Other errands such as setting up internet and such will follow soon. I had a great time these past days with friends. Sadly tonight (or this morning) I am in incredible pain from my muscles. I was running up and down the stairs and lifting heavy boxes all day Saturday. I also drove my UHAUL through heavy rain for 6 miles that took a very long time because it was in the middle of a commercial street. Alex and I did say goodbyes and he was very normal about it thankfully. I do wish him the best as I get on my own :-). I do love being in a space that makes me an individual and I have that so far.
Currently I am changing some info to forward my mail but I will definitely add photos as soon as I can :-). And… passing out on my bed.
I move today, I am still up. I am really tired of running around trying to get things done so I am excited about getting into my new place. Lots of water, pairs of dedicated hands and ibuprofen.
I should be sleeping but I am up. I had a rough day including my ex threatening me today, I won’t get into it but I am happy that someone was there to see how ridiculous it was. I am just happy that is over and that chapter of my life is closed. My new landlord is amazing and my previous landlady’s mother is really great now. She even kissed me good bye :-). I am going to give her my business card and such when I move. My new roommate is funny as hell and is excited that she will be paying less, I will be paying 200 more for happiness, which is well worth it. I already feel like there was a load lifted from my shoulders.
Yesterday, I cleaned and I know that I am going to be super tired tomorrow so starbucks or dunkin donuts for people who help yay!
I did wish my ex and I ended on good terms but he’s in the past. I am seeing my future and it includes new things for me. I expect great things from my job, great things from my family and my new found faith :-). I am actually content with us not getting along because I think space is great. I hope he does well in whatever he does end up doing.
I am also happy because his parents did send me a wonderful response to my email:
Jerlyn,
Thank you for your email. We are sorry that you and Alex are breaking up. Appreciate all you have done for him. And for Vicki as well. I will remember the good times (e.g. baseball game, Thanksgiving) that we shared together.
You are a very capable and accomplished young woman. We wish you well.
Dave and Judy
Which is funny because he insisted that I harassed them. Wow. I only sent them an email telling them what happened and wish their son good luck in everything because I refused to mend the relationship :-). I also think I am capable and accomplished I did well so far and I have no idea what life has in store for me but I love challenges and we’ll see how I overcome them.
I keep thinking that I should probably write a book one day about what occurred, or password protect it in a post. I am sure alot of people feel this way when they break up from their first serious relationship… He was my first serious relationship (since I can’t count highschool :-/). I will cherish all the great memories and create new ones where he is non-existant. A new chapter begins today :-).
Today I packed up the kitchen, sorting my things. I decided to spend the night again by friends since I work from home again tomorrow. Just 1 days away from being free from all this mess. Last night I had fun, I finished a bottle of rum creme with my friend and today after our 1/2 day at work, I went out to drink with co workers. I completely cleaned the kitchen, washed dishes, I still have to empty the refridgerator but that will be done soon. Then maybe vacuum and do some sweeping.
Today I also logged all of Alex’s text messages because last night he went psychotic. I am just archiving them, including those where he tried to solicit me to protect myself after what occurred last night. He basically called me to tell me to get out of the house so he could come in to get his things. I thought that was ridiculous since I was simply packing to go to my friend’s house anyway and why would I get out of an apartment that I pay 1/2 the rent for? I texted him back and told him to not be childish and just get his things. It’s not like he doesn’t have a key and I locked him out of the apartment. He said he would get a restraining order on me after we leave “and it will be on my record.” I laughed at that because for the past days when he broke up with me, I hadn’t messaged him or called him. I simply ignored him. When I came from work or from hanging out with my peers, he would be the one to come up to me and ask how was my day. So he text me back and said he will get the cops to get his things, I responded, “Do it.” For every messaged I sent to him I asked him to “please do not contact me.” I spoke to a cop earlier that day, to know my rights, after he threatened me. The officer gave me great advice. I am beginning to wonder whether Alex thinks that I am stupid -that I am incapable of moving on, that I can’t handle myself in this situation. I’ve already reached the conclusion that we are done and I do not expect to mend anything. So texting me messages like, “I hate you. Go to hell” is not only childish but shows how such a baby he is. It really sucks that he shows me that he is so weak. I still can’t believe this is the person I dated for 2 years.
Also, he even decided that he didn’t want to give me his Dell tower anymore (the one that I upgraded and did my freelance on) and told me to take the RAM and harddrive out and I can’t have it. I chuckled because I realized that he did that because he had always been envious of me making money with my freelance work. I don’t understand why a guy like him wouldn’t prefer that his gf was making extra money and was independent. He told me to keep the kingsize bedframe (I bought the mattress) however, because he knows it won’t fit in his apartment and what would he do with a bed frame :-). He really thinks I am not smart enough to figure him out.
I think I am handling this break up better than he is. He did tell me guys handle break ups worse than women… who knows. I just realized that he was right, we werent compatible, and he wasn’t the one for me. I spent the past days trying to learn about myself so that I do not make that mistake again for settling for less.
However, seriously if you broke up, why would you try to communicate with me still like we are buddies when we arent? It does suck abit because I did think he was my best friend but by being my best friend I didn’t expect him to do certain things like he had. It’s almost like I had two significant people who left my life this year: My brother and a guy I thought I once loved.
Despite craziness of the last post. Alex decides to take back the server (desktop PC since I upgraded it) he already told me that I can have.
Yesterday I came home and I had a glass of wine. I sat at my desk to do some work and he came over and kept asking me, “how was your day?” (I had just came from a date with a friend for sushi and drinks). Today he is pissed that I had let his family know what happened. Duh, why wouldn’t I?
I told him days ago that I didn’t want to remain friends at all because basically he is a douche bag. Even the girl sent an email today letting me know:
Oh and by the way Jerlyn, don’t be fooled…I contacted him because he texted me several times prior to that, indicating that he needed to speak to me. Trust me, this whole time I’ve NEVER been the one to contact him! We speak because he contacts me. So I’m not sure if you’ve heard otherwise, but I’m telling you the truth….there is no gain or loss for me in this situation so I don’t need to lie.
Like ever since we broke up I was handling it well and I didn’t even want to write about everything that occurred because I had already moved on. He texted me a couple days when I had to stay home late at working asking me where I was and why am I late. And, soliciting me! He finally realized he was wrong about everything and wanted to work things out. Obviously I do not want to. I am never going to sell myself short again and just because things are working out a little in my favor with this break up he can’t see me happy :-).
I went to the Afro Punk festival tonight. There was a free concert, which featured Janelle Monae. I think she’s amazing, very eccentric style.
- why not? (Party like a Rockstar 
makes me sad about honesty… (I’ll make sure my money doesn’t fall)
yay!
